03 December 2012

This Hungry Space

Tiger
Image from to.wi













This space between us
Is a dangerous place.
It’s a hungry jungle.
Don’t come here,
Where the tigers haven’t eaten.
You can watch their hunting gaits
From far away.
Would you really want to see their wide mouths?
The whites of their eyes?

This is between us.
This space.
This necessary space.

Your good intentions will bleed
Like a ripe belly
When the teeth go in.
We will leave you
Crumpled in the underbrush
With the corpse of your kindness
And the memory of your smile.


The idea for this actually came from a much more harmless place than the jungle. But it took off in that direction.l I really wanted to record audio for this, but I'm too tired. Inspired by Sunday Scribblings #348.

6 comments:

  1. I am not sure I would be smiling as he ripped my belly open. He might grin a bit though between swallows.

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    Replies
    1. That's why the smile is only a memory at the end of the poem! Not a happy occurrence.

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  2. loved your take on 'between you and me'.. and like oldegg said, i would not be smiling:)

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  3. Interesting images of tigers space. I have actually once accidentally wandered into a tiger's den. (another story)

    One technical question. Last stanza, you say, "We will leave you."

    There is no "we" mentioned or implied earlier in this poem. Prior, you talk about the tigers as "they".

    So it seems it should be "they", or change all the other "they's" to "we's" implying that you are one of the tigers. Which seems wrong since the tigers live between the space of you and the person you are warning.

    Does that make sense?

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    Replies
    1. I mean to become one of the tigers. The danger is not just in the space. The dangerous space is also protection from me and my intentions. That, at least is what I was thinking. The "we" was quite intentional.
      Thanks for your feedback, though. This kind of critique is so very useful!!!

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