18 April 2011

The Unluckiest Pig

Image from Magpie Tales

I would eat man’s food
If I could chase it down,
Choke its last wind away
In a whispering gasp,
Tear away slabs of flesh
With my hunter hands
And chew the blood-raw meat
At its still warm carcass.
But my muscles don’t ripple enough
To make me that sort of man.

I would be a vegetarian
If I could forecast the seasons,
Till the black earth,
And love the land
Like a brother.
If I could turn seeds into beings
That rooted firm
And reached up with beckoning branches
Like salvation.
If I didn’t care
About the dirt under my nails.

I would be a vegan
If I gave a damn
About anything that much.
If my body
Was truly a temple,
Even inside
The endless lengths of my bending intestines.
Or if I was appalled
At the barbarism of my own omnivorous teeth.
But I’ve got
Other things on my plate.

Let Alpha-Male
Eat his fresh kill in a loin cloth.
And let Mr. Green Thumb
Wonder at the bounty his toil has brought.
But don’t expect me
To squint through my spectacles
To inspect every ingredient.

I’ll have my eggs from any old carton
And sausage
From the unluckiest pig that walks by.

Day 18 is from a prompt at Magpie Tales. This poem is not meant to offend or antagonize anyone. It just states the sad truth, that I have no spectacular morals or beliefs that are strong enough to affect the way I eat-except for KFC. I won't eat there. But anything else pretty much goes.


  1. I admire your truthfulness and humor! And I'm right there with you eating the eggs and bacon for me! (and I'm Jewish, so add no strong religious beliefs to my list!)

  2. I love "unluckiest pig". Your culinary philosophies match mine. Excellent write. Did I miss you on the Magpie Tales list? Please link this, if you haven't already.

  3. Thanks, Mouse. I just can't put that much thought into what I eat. And its actually culturally indoctrinated in me. See in New Orleans, you just eat everything that tastes good. Period.

  4. I love the devil may care attitude toward you display ... KFC is on my "don't do" list as well!

  5. Thanks Helen. I hate to say that I made my decision based on the commentary of Jenny McCarthy.

    Lane, thanks. Looks like your a local. Nice.

    And Tess. Oops. I posted a comment, but I didn't put up my link. Glad you found it! Now the link is up. I;m glad you liked my poem so much!!


  6. honesty on the plate is the only policy
    good poem

  7. Definitely feeling this one; lost of conflict when it comes to do's and don'ts..Where is the humanity? Or at very least; the etiquette? Excellent take on the prompt!

  8. Thanks, chiccoreal

    And Isabel, they're are actually some things I won't eat. I'm not keen on internal organs.

  9. LOL..I LOVED THIS! Beautiful, wonderful, raw truth...loved it.

  10. Brilliant, truthful write!

    I love meat - but have deep reservations of how it is 'produced' these days.

    Anna :o]

  11. Absolutely loved your last two stanzas! Hehe!

  12. Thank you Donna, Hyper, and Trellisimo.