11 April 2011

Tipsy


Image from Magpie Tales   



This red wine is
Too sweet for my tongue
And so many glasses
Swamp my head muddy
When I awake
And toothbrush the taste away.

But drinking one
With each sentence
Is easier than saying the ones
You probably want to hear.

See,
If I just get tipsy
Instead of telling you,
Then you can still smile at me
And touch my shoulder when we talk
That’s really all I want.
Because
That’s all I can really take.





For Magpie Tales, Mag 61. I don't think I really have a lot to say about my process here.  Not really happy with the second half of the 1st stanza, but at a poem a day, I had to make an effort to stop revising [for now]. Day 11 for NaPoWriMo.

19 comments:

  1. I *really* like this poem.

    I think 'swamping your head muddy' is the best way to describe a red wine high. I liked every line in this poem. Marvelous, is the word.

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  2. It's not such a bad thing, to know your limits. Nice piece.

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  3. Thanks, Deep. Lucky I got it right. I'm more of a beer drinker.

    Thanks, Martin. Glad you enjoyed.

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  4. An excuse for incoherence! It's rather sweet!

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  5. It's nice to make, I mean have an excuse.
    Thanks MM and Isabel.

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  6. I like your poem- and writing one a day is an awesome challenge. Thanks for your nice comments and like your sister I am posting a photo a day on my new blog http://kathewsnapaday.blogspot.com

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  7. I love the image "smile at me and touch my shoulder when we talk" conjures.

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  8. I like everything about your poem, including all of the first stanza. I note you prefer beer ~ which caused me to remember a little ditty we used to repeat years ago ... beer on wine is fine, wine on beer you must fear. I pearl of wisdom whose theory I never tested.

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  9. You describe the heady feeling of red wine well. Although after more than 2 glasses, I'd be in the mud,not just muddy headed!

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  10. Kathe, thanks. I should change the info about my blog. My sister quit posting a photo a day about a year ago. I wish she would get back into it.


    Helen, thanks. We had a rhyme about beer and liquor.
    "Beer then liquor, never sicker.
    Liquor then beer, have no fear."
    I did test the theory. It was incorrect.

    Mouse in the mud. That's funny.

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  11. Tess, thanks. I also had a very definite picture in my head for that line.

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  12. It's sad if wine takes the place of conversation, though...

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  13. Sometime we have to get to the next step!! "And toothbrush the taste away.." who can't feel that?? Love your poem!

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  14. Perhaps a larger story here to be developed. The toothbrush the taste away is a great line, and the poem is a really good take on the prompt.

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  15. Trellissimo-Sad but often true.

    Lyn ans Socks-Thanks.

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  16. I agree with Socks! A larger plot can happen here! :) has lots of possibilities!

    My Magpie Post

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  17. Thanks, Vinay. Perhaps you and Socks are onto something. I hadn't considered anything larger from that piece.

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  18. your words are superb,
    what a brilliant wine/poetry mix.


    beautiful write…

    Invite you to join poets rally week 42 by sharing a free verse today.

    You will love the encouragements you get once you are in and make commitment.

    Your poetry rocks!

    awards for you!


    Hope to see you in!
    Have A Blessed Easter!
    xxx

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