10 April 2011

The Sneaky Contradiction

I am a crooked line,
But no one has to know.
I hide my slanted ways
And straighten up for show.

I think a twisted thought
Whenever you’re nearby.
Don’t visit me alone at night.
Who knows what I might try?

I jaunt a sideways step
When you are around
But when I know you’re out of sight
I walk with my head down.

I have a tilted smile
Be wary when I grin.
When I smile to shake your hand,
You’ll never guess my sin.


I'm posting this on Sunday, but it is my Saturday effort for NaPoWriMo. I wrote it yesterday. Well, I wrote three stanzas of it yesterday. It's from a Poetry Bus prompt. I shall probably also stick it up at Writer's Island. It is a huge departure from what I usually write. Whereas I usually shy away from rhyme, this poem is totally dependent on it. Also, I out great effort into using lots of imagery in my poems... except for this one. There is not a single tangible thing or visual in it. Don't know how I feel about that.                                                    

24 comments:

  1. Oh, would you be interested in joining my contest this month? it's once a week n you post a poem and read the others. n just let me know which you like best.

    If you are, This week ends thurs night at 11:59pm
    http://lunawitch15.com/ (click clambake page. )

    Hope to see you there.

    Luna

    ReplyDelete
  2. Darn it erased the 1st part.

    This is what i think of your poem, lol
    I found it engaging and I loved how you could put the being of your choice into it as you read.
    I was reminded of a snake. I thought this was brillant!

    Luna

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm glad you enjoyed the poem. It feels pretty weird and unnatural to me.

    Also, I'd love to join your contest.

    ReplyDelete
  4. M.A.S. You seem to be getting more comfortable with rhyme! I never used to use it much either, and now I find myself using it all the time. I admire the way you analyze your own work and know what you like and don't. That being said, sometimes, it's good to get out of your comfort zone and not let your critical voice stifle you. Bravo!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Lola-eh, I think I like calling you Mouse better-Mouse, thanks, but it still seems weird.


    Thank you, Jingle.

    Irene-it didn't start that way! But I think the end product is pretty honest.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I am enjoying your poetry and also enjoying your explanations of your poetry. It is good to try different styles sometime. The ending is thought-provoking.

    ReplyDelete
  7. oh i like this...what is hidden behind that crooked line....nice flow too and left us to fill in the gaps...

    ReplyDelete
  8. Quite wicked ! I like it! thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Wicked! I like that. Thank you so much, Izzy.

    ReplyDelete
  10. 'I hide my slanted ways and straighten up for show.' Now how many of us can relate to this sentiment??? Very many I'd say. Good take on the prompt M.A.S.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I loved this sideways step through life! LOL

    ReplyDelete
  12. That second stanza adds a nightmarish quality to the poem which is reinforced by the last line. Definite undercurrent of the macabre in there!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Beware man who speaks with crooked line! I really enjoyed this! Glad I found your blog.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I usually feel this way - like people don't really know the real evil me. Of course, I might be exaggerating my evil-ness a bit :)

    ReplyDelete
  15. Thanks, Peter and Bug.Everybody's got a little evil.

    Helen, thanks-I'm glad that you think my blog was worth finding!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Those first two stanzas are really tight and strong. I love the first line of the poem, and the last, as well. It's open to interpretation, yet I see many people relating to what you've expressed.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Love the first stanza. Super fresh.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Thanks, Mr. W. I'm really pleased that it seems to have turned out ok, even though it still seems a bit not rite too me, since it's so different than what I usually intend to write.

    Deep, thanks. I'm so pleased you're liking my stuff.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Not a fan of rhyme but you've won me over with this one! Well done!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Thanks. That's a pretty big compliment for someone like me who doesn't like to write in rhyme.

    ReplyDelete