23 April 2011


The first course came French,
With wine and small portions,
Undercooked for my American tongue.
My bleeding appetizer competed
With tales of her first spelling bee loss
To see which would spoil my appetite

“I’ll just—I have someth—“
I rush to the bathroom
Leaving my lie unfinished.
She can do that for me.

The attendant reaches
A warm towel at me,
But I only want
Directions to the back door.
“You want to leave through a back door
Before your main course.”
I can see his thoughts,
Wondering if
I’m avoiding an empty wallet
Or a dark-haired harpy
Who won’t shut up.

“Are you ok?
You left so—“
What the hell is she talking about?
“Yeah, I flossed.

I don’t drink wine that much
In expensive French restaurants
As a prisoner.
Incarcerated by an archaic tradition.
“I think it’s a great first date too.”
What’s one last lie
Before I stab myself with a bread knife.

“Who’s your favorite comedian?”
Her eyes told me
She might be in love
And that she might be
On the interesting end
Of a restraining order.

I throw my plate at the window
For a distraction.
As soufflé smears down the glass.
I have just a second
To gulp my Bourgogne.
I throw my empty glass
At the cheese on the window pane
And make my getaway.

Day 23. I wrote this poem, or poem-like thing from a prompt at Big Tent Poetry. Decided I'd write with a bit of a lighter tone than I had been doing recently. Also entered at Writer's Island and for the Poetry Rally.


  1. LOL :D what an ending. I didn't see that coming, M.A.S! I knew the date wasn't going well, but maybe a souffle could have been saved with an earlier getaway? ;)

    My Post Is Here

  2. Sad when one is so interested and the other not so. Well, exceptionally not so in this poem. LOL Well done. I had a good laugh at "she might be at the interesting of a restraining order".

  3. Wonderful poem. This situation made me laugh out loud. I can definitely picture that reaction to being served something 'bleeding.' And I loved the getaway!

  4. love it,

    act to get attention,
    which is lovely action.

    Happy Rally.

  5. :) Very good. It's nice to run across something with a streak of humour in it. Both amusing and lyrical.

  6. Vinay- Thanks. I was actually thinking of this as a horrible first date. But I guess, for the purpose of this poem, it doesn't really matter.

    Judy- Thanks, I reworked that line a lot to get something that I thought worked.

    Thanks, Jingle and li!

  7. "Her eyes told me
    She might be in love
    And that she might be
    On the interesting end
    Of a restraining order."
    This part had me cracking up, how many have we met
    in our lives, who could qualify for that part.
    Thanks for the laugh, M.A.S.


    Happy Easter!

  8. Thanks, Pamela. This is really like the fiction I used to write. Glad you liked it. Happy Easter to you too!

  9. LOL This is darn good, sounds like a Match.com experience I had before I met Len. Keep writing fiction, too! Your poetry is damn good, but I can see where your fiction might have some fun twists and turns.

  10. Thanks, Brenda. I never actually had an experience that bad.

  11. This was a fun read. I could really picture the two sitting at the table and the growing panic/need to escape.

  12. Thanks, Annette. It was fun to write.

  13. Thanks for the laugh today! I loved "...one last lie before I stab myself with a bread knife" and "Her eyes told me She might be in love And that she might be On the interesting end Of a restraining order." Great lines!

  14. I wonder if people were honest, how many first dates would be reported as accurately as this!

  15. Diva, I think if people were honest, there wouldn't be any first dates like this.