05 October 2010

More Water Ideas

Sometimes when I relax and close my eyes
I wear an aqualung
To dream myself below
The sticky top tension
Of the ocean’s might.
I push down against the buoyancy
And peer gawk-faced
At colors that wouldn’t be right in the air
And body parts
Without terrestrial purpose,
Like tentacles and dorsal fins.
At  things that move in ways
They just don’t do above the waves.

Even the gentle push of a ripple
Touches every little wet bit of sea.
I wonder if the octopus five thousand miles away
Feels me wade in his water?

....don't quite know where I'm going here...


  1. The images kind of come out of nowhere, but I think the whole effect is interesting. I don't get where you are going with it either though.

    I am Fickle Cattle.

  2. I think I have two ideas that are kind of clashing. I'm glad that you felt the images came out of nowhere (though that may bot have been a compliment, I guess). The first stanza is just my take on what I might see and experience if I were some sort of old-time deep sea diver and I was unfamiliar with underwater creatures.

    The second stanza is really a whole different concept that I think I forced out and that's why it ended so abruptly.

    But mainly, thanks for reading it. And thanks even more for commenting!!!

  3. I quite like the surprising concluding lines.